Fly for Fun was my escape from reality; my real life was a total mess.  I lost a loved one due to terminal illness and my life was empty.  Emotionally and physically I just could not do anything at all.  My life was shattered before my very eyes and I could see the glass shards all over the floor- unable to be put back together no matter how hard I tried.  When I started playing Fly for Fun I instantly felt its presence crawling around my body. For that specific time that I played Flyff, even if it was for one hour eased my pain.  Every moment spent inside the realm of Flyff for one less moment sitting in the corner sulking in my pool of depression and loneliness.  Whether it was running across Flaris or slaying monsters with my mercenary I felt truly content.  At times, I even felt invincible as if I was a great mercenary using my powerful sword of silver sword to slay those annoying pranksters to the ground. 

            I admit, I am a guy who has a horrible memory; I can hardly go anywhere without misplacing my wallet, keys, and all sorts of items. This day I am about to describe to you I remember so perfectly; it is as if it is embedded into my mind and that I could not even forget about it if I wanted to.  It was a Saturday morning and I had woken up extra early because today was the day I would reach level 45 and proudly wear my panggril set that I have been looking at for several days in my bank.  I brushed my teeth, took a quick shower and had a small breakfast before I got ready to get my level.  I was doing my usual routine: blazing sword and sword mastery buffs to go along with sneakering the mob before sending it to its grave.  I was happily killing away when I was suddenly freebuffed by an assist.  I politely thanked her and we started to drum up a conversation.  From that instant we connected like nothing before; we were like two peas in a pod.  We added each other to the friendlist and started leveling together everyday.  Logging on to my mercenary was the highlight of my day. I would log on and instantly look for her name on my friendlist so that we could talk and level together.  Our days were spent fighting mobs, dueling in the arena and killing those vicious giants in hopes of a rare drop we desired.  We eventually got to our second jobs of blade and ringmaster which we had desired from day one.  We were so happy together and we had used to just sit at our favorite tree and just talk about anything that came to mind.  We shared everything from secrets to our hearts; we could not hide anything from each other.  I can honestly say that meeting her slowly brought me out of the abyss of depression that I had sunk into and thought I could not get out of. 

            A few months later I logged on and performed my usual ritual of looking for her on my friendslist and I did not see her on.  I figured maybe she was a little late and I decided to wait for a little. A one hour wait turned into ten hours but to me it felt like an eternity. I came back the next day and still saw her offline but I tried my best to keep my composure and not start to worry. Days later, I started to panic and absolutely lost it; I kept looking at my friendslist every two seconds as if her name would magically appear online. I used the whisper and say command just incase my friendslist was not working properly and I even started to shout for her name. Nowadays, my days are spent at that tree hoping that someday she will show up and meet me there. Hoping that my missing ringmaster would come on and save me from everything.  If the scenery in Fly for Fun could express how I feel it would be the leaves falling from the trees to show how the days of growth are slowly turning into the days of falling leaves. As each leaf falls to the ground I feel as if it is one less leaf of hope.  Freebuff me and free my heart from the chains of heartbreak.